Public Transportation Stakeholders Throughout Maine’s
Largest Urban Area Have Their Bubbles Burst.
I lost. Not a little, a lot! Majorly. Big time. I did not get to University of Southern Maine in Gorham to pick up my desperately needed something-or-another at my campus office and get back to my world-ending meeting in Portland by 3:30pm. Missed the boat (or the bus, as the case may be). Not a little fail—an EPIC FAIL! Or was I was set up to fail?
The first truly spectacular day in June, the Greater Portland Council of Governments gathered a fistful of regional decision makers to experience public transportation first hand. The Amazing Race-type challenge broke strangers into small groups, each with their own storyline, complete with phobias and limitations.
Armed with only a bag lunch, water, a few Instagram-worthy props, very detailed restrictions on garnering points, confusing regional transit maps, and given a mere $19 cash per person, the teams were let loose at 10:30am from Saco Station and expected to arrive at the Portland Media Center’s finish line on Congress Street no later than 3:30pm. What could go wrong?
The cracks in our regional public transportation began showing immediately. The first Saco bus that pulled up had a technical glitch that delayed and frustrated the group. Other groups quickly realized the Saco train station has no ticketing windows, and no way to accept cash for train travel. The Northern New England Passenger Rail Authority rep participating in the exercise was placed in a group whose storyline included a train phobia, so unable to gain an unfair advantage, she did immediately note that the train conductors would generally not allow walk-on passengers without reservations — much less accept cash — and charge an additional $5 busting the $19 bank if they did! Calls were made to make an exception for those unanticipated (and otherwise unknown) restrictions.
Taking a page out of Captain Kirk’s Kobayashi Maru playbook, our team used a debit card to purchase our train ticket, pocketing the cash to replace of my money, and choosing a discounted rate because, as noted, no one was there (I fully disclosed this loophole at the end of the day). Our $19 was already being stretched!
Points were to be achieved less by reaching the goal on time, but more by speaking with other riders, posting the day’s events on social media, and generally educating ourselves beyond our car bubbles we live in to navigate our daily lives.
Most teams were comprised of four or more people, but my partner, Periane Carpenter from the Shuttlebus-Zoom, (The Biddeford-Saco-Old Orchard Beach Transit Committee d/b/a ShuttleBus-ZOOM) and I were a duo. Wanting to reflect a traveling spirit, we took the team name of “Lady and the Tramp” (1 point for that). Our storyline: we are USM faculty starting our day in Saco, stopping in Freeport to pick up something from home, then (as mentioned) to our USM office in Gorham to grab who-knows-what, before getting to our meeting in downtown Portland.
The Downeaster to Freeport was a wonderful start, but the Breez was anything but a breeze! METRO’s frequent bus link between Freeport and Portland is only $3 and a great ride — I highly recommend it if those are the ONLY places you’re going. Our goal, however was Gorham, so we needed to connect in Portland. The 5-minute connection time did not instill confidence. And when it arrived 10 minutes late, I was confident we’d not make it.
The driver did the best she could but the 15-mile ride only picked up 2 minutes, so our connection to the Husky line bus in Portland was impossible if it was on time. Apparently it was — we missed it by 3 minutes.
Had we made the connection, we would have made the two-hour round trip to Gorham and returned a half-hour early for the post-race wrap up. As we missed it, the next bus would get us back a half-hour after. Done. Over. Fail.
Apparently Kobayashi Maru’s no-win scenario was intact…or I am not Captain James T. Kirk. Or both. I began suspecting that perhaps this whole day was designed to fail so we’d all appreciate the daily plight of Greater Portland commuters.
So, stranded in Portland, we used our suddenly available time to enjoy an outdoor café and recap our points and takeaways from the day. We totaled our “team-of-two” points and resigned that the larger teams with more resources were most certainly going to crush us, both in points and actually completing their trips.
As expected, we were one of the first teams at the finish reception, the others ending their excursion with time to spare. But as other teams returned, the horror stories began to be shared among the teams. One had to walk a mile and a half to accomplish their goal on time because their South Portland connection would have taken 45 minutes too long (so, we weren’t alone—we just didn’t have the option of walking). Another team met their Waterloo with coordinating schedules with a ferry. Yet, another’s experience provided a deeper appreciation for the frustrations in coordinating interconnecting transit schedules.
Laughs were shared and lessons learned, but somber realizations were exposed. While this was a frivolous exercise for us, it is real life for workers and visitors in Greater Portland. In real life, classes are skipped, important meetings missed, or riders are left high and dry by not catching critical trains, ferries, buses, or even cruise ships. Our work is, as they say, “clearly, cut out for us” on developing solutions for regional public transportation.
PS. Unbelievably, despite our missed connection and inability to finish the route, we won! The Lady and the Tramp Team scored the points by chatting up passengers and posting to social media. This earned a whopping 210 points. Compared to larger teams, which focused on completing their routes, hovering round 50.
Robert Witkowski is the Creative Director for Visit Portland, a, freelance designer, and author of “100 things To Do in Portland, Maine Before You Die.” Having lived in Chicago, Boston and New York City, Robert has discovered that urban life is exciting and fun, making his home in Portland’s West End.
