More time…
If there’s one thing anyone who has ever suffered the loss of someone wants, it’s always- more time.
More hugs and kisses, more ‘I love yous’, more stories together, more memories… just more time.
This is especially true when there’s an out of order loss, such as the loss of a child. And while there’s little most of us can do to give families facing loss more time, there is something we can do for the tiniest of losses – we can give the gift of time to say goodbye after a loss, with the gift of a Cuddle Cot system.
A Cuddle Cot is a specialized crib which resembles a bassinet or “Moses basket” but has a cooled mattress pad which allows families to spend more time with their infant after a loss. With the cooling mattress, families can spend priceless extra hours and days together in their hospital room. Allowing time for more pictures, bonding, and saying goodbye. When the time is already cut so short with the loss of an infant who had not yet gotten a chance to experience the world, the extra time together as a family is truly priceless. Unfortunately, when hospital administration are making budget cuts, the Cuddle Cot is often viewed as a luxury item and doesn’t make it to the hospital floor, despite being priceless to those who need to use them. Without the availability of a Cuddle Cot, families are forced to have a quicker goodbye due to body deterioration. Studies have shown that the extra time together is beneficial for the mental health of the parents and surviving loved ones. It provides a chance for grandparents, brothers and sisters to meet the new baby, and truly have a moment to say hello before saying goodbye.
A new local nonprofit seeks to make sure as many hospitals as possible has a Cuddle Cot for those who need them. They’ve fundraised enough for one Cuddle Cot, but aren’t stopping there.
“It weighs on my heart every day thinking about a family that needs a Cuddle Cot today, but may not have one available to them,” says Amie Marzen, president of Madeline’s Mission, which seeks to provide support to families grieving the loss of a child. A grieving mother herself, Marzen named the nonprofit in memory of her daughter, Madeline who passed away at the age of four. “When you’re just saying hello to a newborn baby and are faced with a sudden goodbye, you shouldn’t have to rush during a time that is exhausting mentally and physically, especially for mothers recovering from childbirth. Madeline’s Mission wants to make sure that families get that precious gift of more time, to take pictures, introduce the baby to their family, and say all the things they want to say to their sweet baby.”
“It’s hard to find the right words to express what having a Cuddle Cot would have meant to us after Michael was delivered,” says Kendray Rodriguez, whose son, Michael, was stillborn. “We were lucky, in that we were allowed to spend a few hours with him after delivery. We took turns holding him, took a few pictures of the three of us together. I even got to take a nap with him in my arms. And then they took him away. To the morgue. So his body wouldn’t deteriorate. It was like losing him all over again. Losing a child to stillbirth takes so many things away from you, but the cruelest of those things is time. We had so little TIME with him. I would give my right arm for more time with Michael. Cuddle Cots give families that time, and while time won’t bring a child back, it does give their family the chance to bond, grieve, and just BE with their child. That time has been shown – both anecdotally and in research – to be hugely important in the mental health and wellbeing of bereaved parents.”
To support Madeline’s Mission as they fundraise to make Cuddle Cots available in as many hospitals as possible in Maine, please visit www.madelinemission.org and make a donation, or visit Bath Savings Bank and ask to make a direct donation to Madeline’s Mission.
Amie Marzen is a self-employed communications consultant passionate about working with nonprofit organizations and community-centered businesses. She is a wife and mother to two children, including an angel, Madeline. Inspired by her daughter, Amie advocates to preserve her daughter’s legacy of love and joy.
