A new Maine nonprofit takes aim at helping those facing something no one wants to think about – the loss of a child. Launched at the beginning of 2019, Madeline’s Mission seeks to provide a path toward wellness, healing, and hope for families surviving child loss.
Members from Madeline’s Mission delivered a Cuddle Cot. A priceless gift to families who have just lost a child to Midcoast Hospital on June 13th, 2019. Members of the hospital’s midwifery and pediatrics departments accepted the gift on behalf of the hospital.
A Cuddle Cot is a specialized crib which resembles a bassinet or “Moses basket” but has a cooled mattress pad which allows families to spend more time with their infant after a loss. With the cooling mattress, families can spend priceless extra hours and days together in their hospital room. Allowing time for more pictures, bonding, and saying goodbye. When the time is already cut so short with the loss of an infant who had not yet gotten a chance to experience the world, the extra time together as a family is truly priceless. Without the availability of a Cuddle Cot, families are forced to have a quicker goodbye due to body deterioration. Studies have shown that the extra time together is beneficial for the mental health of the parents and surviving loved ones. It provides a chance for grandparents, brothers and sisters to meet the new baby, and truly have a moment to say hello before saying goodbye.
“It’s hard to find the right words to express what having a Cuddle Cot would have meant to us after Michael was delivered,” says Kendray Rodriguez, whose son Michael was stillborn. “We were lucky, in that we were allowed to spend a few hours with him after delivery. We took turns holding him, took a few pictures of the three of us together. I even got to take a nap with him in my arms. And then they took him away…to the morgue so his body wouldn’t deteriorate. It was like losing him all over again. Losing a child to stillbirth takes so many things away from you, but the cruelest of those things is time. We had so little TIME with him. I would give my right arm for more time with Michael. Cuddle Cots give families that time, and while time won’t bring a child back, it does give their family the chance to bond, grieve, and just BE with their child. That time has been shown – both anecdotally and in research – to be hugely important in the mental health and well-being of bereaved parents.”
The Cuddle Cot was fund raised online and through social media, bringing area parents together for this important cause. Many donated in memory of babies or young children gone too soon-including babies Quinn, Michael, Carter, Julian and Ella, and the organization’s namesake, Madeline.
“Until the day of our boys’ delivery, I had never heard of a Cuddle Cot or had a clue how precious one would come to be for our story,” says Jessica Brucato, a Maine mother of twins, one of which was stillborn. Thankfully, the hospital in which she delivered was equipped with a Cuddle Cot. “I feel so grateful to have been able to keep our stillborn son close by in the Cuddle Cot every moment until we chose to hand him to the funeral home director. I ache to hear the stories of mothers having to repetitively be separated from their baby during those precious few hours. Every moment counts when it’s your only hellos and goodbyes.”
Midcoast Hospital Midwife Suzanne Zimmerman helped coordinate with Madeline’s Mission to make sure the Cuddle Cot met all hospital guidelines and needs. “I am grateful to Madeline’s Mission for providing local, personal support to our grieving families,” says Zimmerman. “A Cuddle Cot is an invaluable tool that will allow parents and families the gift of unrestricted time to spend with their babies who have passed. This allows other family members to come share in this precious time and gives the parents all the time they need to say goodbye. I am so grateful for this opportunity to enhance our care for grieving families. Thank you to all who supported this effort!”
Madeline’s Mission believes that no one should have to go through the grief journey alone. Madeline’s Mission strives to provide compassionate, individualized services and connection to local resources enabling people to get the healing supports that they may desire following a loss. No matter in what way a child has been lost or is anticipated to be lost, Madeline’s Mission stands alongside to support families through that process from the time they identify the need; regardless of the circumstances of the loss. Madeline’s Mission is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit.
“It’s a somewhat taboo topic in that no one wants to talk about surviving the unthinkable loss of a child,” says Amie Marzen, President of Madeline’s Mission and mother of the nonprofit’s namesake, Madeline. Madeline passed away at the age of 4 after an aggressive two-month battle against a brain tumor. “However whether it is discussed or not, child loss does happen – and there needs to be supports in place to lift families during their darkest hours, especially after life returns to an unsettling ‘new normal’. We hope to be able to provide some hope and comfort to these families and let them know they’re not alone – and are always loved.”
The organization plans to continue to fund raise for additional Cuddle Cots for area hospitals that do not have them and have already targeted two more hospitals at need. To learn more about Madeline’s Mission or support this initiative, please visit madelinemission.org.
Amie Marzen is a self-employed communications consultant passionate about working with nonprofit organizations and community-centered businesses. She is a wife and mother to two children, including an angel, Madeline. Inspired by her daughter, Amie advocates to preserve her daughter’s legacy of love and joy.
