Donna Dwyer: My Place Teen Center
Questions: Ray Richardson
Answers: Donna Dwyer
Q: Tell us about yourself, your childhood and your family. In other words, give us a snapshot of who you are and what you care about?
A: I grew up in southern Maine in a household that prided itself on work ethic and discipline. The Pederzini (my maiden name) kids were raised with no-nonsense, old-fashioned values. We were expected to behave, to work, and to keep our mouths shut. And if we didn’t? Out came the wooden spoon, ivory soap in the mouth, stand in the corner, and lots of grounding. And more chores! There were no slackers in our household.
Now, I’m a mom, a wife, a tennis addict, a Higgins Beach disciple, and lover of all things Maine – its people, its geography, its enchanting lifestyle:
- Personal credo: If we think in kindness, we win. If we make graceful decisions, we win. If we extend ourselves, we win. Higher education — go get one. Do something more. Be something more. Be fearless in your fear. Stand tall for a cause! Wear red and sit up straight.
- Career stance: Operate with a nonprofit heart and function with a corporate mindset. And persevere! No means yes. Be pleasantly persistent. Knock down brick walls. Grit is it! Take the high road, always, against the swamp people. Don’t get sucked into the muck.
- The best part of me? My beloved boy, Timothy.
Q: What is My Place Teen Center? How did you get involved in Teen Center? What is your specific role and what exactly do you do?
A: My Place Teen Center is a southern Maine organization based in Westbrook with a second location to be opened in Biddeford, July 2020. Our mission is to provide a safe haven for middle and high school youth, ages 10-18, sustaining them with comfort, meals, resources, and hope.
Opened in 1998, we are a year round, free, out of school time, evidence-based, positive youth development program specializing in cultivating grit and alleviating hunger and trauma. We are open five hours per day, five days per week, year-round. Everything we do for the kids is free.
My Place Teen Center is at the forefront of some of the most crucial issues of our time.
- We fight to keep kids safe from the devastation of the opioid epidemic.
- We combat poverty and food insecurity.
- We create real, authentic communities with kids from diverse backgrounds, teaching them how to be good citizens and good neighbors.
- We show teens from broken homes that there is a better way to live life – with accountability, personal responsibility, and self-care.
- We are not just raising kids, we are raising the next generation of adults, and they are headed your way. It matters who they are now, and whom they become as adults.
- We know adverse childhood experiences and the lifelong consequences of trauma can be counterbalanced with protective factors such as increasing cognitive capacity, healthy attachment of relationships, the ability to regulate emotions and behaviors, and creating safe environments. This is our calling card.
I started in 2011 and was honored to be offered, and agreed to the CEO position, because of Sassy Cassie: http://mainewomenmagazine.com/an-honor-a-responsibility.
Q: My Place Teen Center was originally Mission Possible roughly twenty years ago. Aside from the obvious, the name change, how has the Teen Center changed over the years?
A: A LOT!!! The building, the programming, the finances, the staffing – ALL changed. We’ve expanded from a $200k organization to an $800k organization in the span of 7 years. The kids deserve our very best efforts, evidenced-based programming, and commitment. We continually strive to be stellar – for the kids!
Our Differentiators:
- Free
- Homey, warm, inviting aesthetic
- Nutritious, full, daily meals
- Year-round
- 25 hours per week
- Teen-centric
- Job and life preparedness
- Focus on social emotional learning and evidence-based strategies such as instilling grit, curiosity, leadership, and self-awareness
- Drop-in and program specific
- Local control; local decision-making
Q: Your personal mission is to make the lives of at-risk kids better. How many children do you serve each year? How many meals does the Teen Center provide?
A: Last year we served 467 kids and 9,100 meals. Our biggest challenge is FUNDRAISING! We start from scratch each fiscal year and every year we claw and scrape our way to the finish line. With this many kids at our Red Door doorstep, ensuring all their needs are met, requires constant diligence and nerves of steel.
Q: Working with children challenges you (in a good way) and makes you a better person. What have you learned about your self through this experience that you did not previously know?
A: I think that I’m a more resolute person, confident person, and clear person. Patience is a virtue and sometimes I’m virtuous and sometimes it’s the bane of my existence. I am impatient with people and entities with plentiful coffers who say no. Protecting and loving a family of 467 kids requires many benevolent resources. The underbelly of the nonprofit world is fraught with those who superficially tout their generosity, but in reality, it’s just not the case.
But Why Give?
The long-term impacts of poverty on children have been extensively researched and documented. Among the disturbing consequences:
- According to the American Psychological Association, child poverty is linked with a range of negative developmental conditions and outcomes, including poor academic achievement, school dropout, abuse and neglect, behavioral and socio-emotional problems, physical health problems, and developmental delays.
- Over time, child poverty contributes to chronic stress, lower levels of working memory, a weak foundation for later learning, behavior, and health, and poor adolescent and adult outcomes, according to the Urban Institute’s research report, Child Poverty and Its Lasting Consequences.
- Perhaps most concerning is that poverty impacts a child’s brain development, leading to long-term behavioral and cognitive difficulties.
In response, we provide academic assistance through tutoring, study skills, the Learning Technology Lab, and Science, Technology, English, the Arts, and Math (STEAM) programs. We offer instruction in character development, leadership development, life skills, job skills, and financial literacy. We focus on aspects of healthy, responsible moral development that builds strong character, self-esteem, academic, and leadership skills. All this, and we provide daily, healthy, complete meals.
Our culture is loving first and firm when needed. A family-type, anti-bullying, safe environment is our hallmark. When youth walk through our Red Doors, we see kids who have the potential to thrive with mentoring and guidance. Our niche is fostering grit, perseverance, curiosity, passion, and accountability. We are committed to engaging these young people in positive relationships and meaningful activities that allow them to be courageous in the face of their traumatic life circumstances.
“Numerous studies confirm what parents and community leaders already know – after-school programs keep children safe, reduce crime and drug use, and improve academic performance. In fact…every $1 invested in after-school programs saves taxpayers $3 in increased performance and compensation and reduced school costs and crime.” -Susan Collins, U.S. Senate.
Q: There are rumors of an expansion, adding a new location to serve area children. What can you tell us?
A: In 2014, Biddeford champions and stakeholders, including the Mayor, Biddeford Housing Authority, and the Heart of Biddeford, requested discussions about how to bring our business model to Biddeford. Originally we were functioning in a consultant mode – how THEY could operate such a facility like ours, but early 2017 discussions turned to: Would WE bring our business model to Biddeford and run a second site/MPTC for them? Given that expansion was already part of our strategic plan, this was an easy leap due to the positive relationship developed with City leaders and a similar demographic and landscape between both cities.
Thus, we have been working closely with Biddeford Housing Authority and Mayor Casavant regarding establishing a second site at 75 Bacon Street, Biddeford; the former St. Andre’s Church. Our target opening date is July 2020. We will be located on the bottom floor – about 9,000 square feet – of the church. The top floor, we hope, will be Sellam Circus School!
We are entering into a long-term lease at a dollar per year. The business model will be the same as the Westbrook location.
When Biddeford opens, we anticipate serving 1,100 kids per year and 21,000 meals – both sites.
This is all contingent on raising $6.5MM! We are almost half-way there and welcome that ubiquitous unicorn funder who will make a big splash, a big statement, and make a herculean Red Door gift!
Q: How do you relax?
A: I love to walk! I love to watch Survivor and Netflix binge! And read! I love to cuddle with my son, Timothy, who’s the best cuddle buddy around. I love to be at the beach.
Q: What is your favorite thing to do and why?
A: My absolute favorite thing to do is play tennis. I need to play tennis to live my life in the way that I do. I need its physicality. Its friendships. Its gross motor, fine motor, mental and emotional demands, and its respite from my work thoughts. Tennis completes me – wholly and unequivocally. Thank you, tennis. I love you.
Q: What is your favorite type of food to eat and where do you go to get it?
A: I love fruits and veggies and treats! Frontier in Brunswick has a great menu and MPTC’s chef is A-1, too! And Humpty Dumpty All-Dressed are like crack to me. Can’t have ‘em around. Buh-bye, whoopie pie. Key lime pie, you’re pretty neat, too.
Q: What is the last book you read and what did you learn from it?
A: Breath, Eyes, Memory. By Edwidge Danticat. I learned childhood trauma is sometimes couched as par for the course.
Q: What is your favorite music genre and who is your favorite artist?
A: I love music in general. It definitely impacts my mood. I love disco and especially KC and the Sunshine Band, but my favorite song of all time is Clair de Lune by Debussy. It soothes me in the prettiest way possible.
Q: Not counting family because it is too easy, if you could have coffee with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be and what would you talk about?
A: Wellllllllll – I would like to be in the presence of an angel. I would like to understand many worldly and other worldly things. One of the things is what my son is thinking. He has a hard time with communication so I always wonder what his thoughts are.
Q: Tell us three things about yourself you want people to know:
1.) I love my boy, Timothy:
I have a routine on Friday nights. At 6:05 pm, tears will well in my eyes, a profound sense of gratitude will overwhelm me, and I feel utter joy.
Why?
I drop my beloved off at the Strive dance party. He’s so serious in the car on the way over. He’s always wearing his suit. His tie will be too tight but he won’t let me loosen it. He will ask about his best friend, Erik.
Will he be there? And if he is, they will dance together, play pool, eat pizza.
When we drive in and park, Timothy won’t let me walk him in. “Bye, Mom.” And as he ambles off in that funny, little gait of his, he immediately is focused on who else is arriving. And who are those arriving? More young adults with developmental disabilities. Beautiful. Happy. Perfect. Extraordinary.
Why the emotion? When in the presence of purity, in the presence of light, in the presence of simplicity, it all becomes…Simple.
Timothy and his friends spending a Friday night, just hanging and just being. For all his life, I just wanted my boy to be happy. And he is. But, the happiness he shares with me makes my heart sing every Friday night at 6:05 pm.
What’s your happiest hour?
PS: It was 8:45 pm when the call came in. “Mom.” “Home.” When I arrived, he sees me. He’s sweaty. He looks exhausted. He has pizza sauce on his face. He and Erik are sitting on the floor, side by side. Listening to the music. He gets his stuff ready. We head out and Erik follows. You see, we have a concluding ritual on Friday nights as well. Erik walks Timothy to the car, opens his door, and gives him a big hug goodbye. Love. Down syndrome style. On the way home, Timothy asks for “tisses” (kisses) and to “eat.” Love. Mom style.
I observe a love affair every Friday night and it’s between two young men who love each other simply because. They only know love in its most innocent form possible. All the drama, wonder, and angst that can sometimes get in between a love, does not exist between Erik and Timothy. Imagine that.
2.) Higgins Beach is my refuge:
From sunbeams to moonbeams.
Mermaids frolicking in the surf.
The tide incoming. It waxes and wanes leaving diamonds glistening in the sand.
Slippery-slidy, seaweed-strewn rocks wait for their salty embrace.
The sky lowers, the stars beckon.
Come hither, they say.
3.) Sometimes I am compelled to write –
here’s one about a young woman we mentored at MPTC:
Meet baby boy. He’s been on a five-year journey. They say that newborns and animals are the closest thing to the spiritual realm. At 7 pounds, he’s mighty. With his brand new eyes, he’s knowing. With his little cries, he’s telling.
He’s telling his mother’s story. Five years ago, she was 17. With a boyfriend who abused. In a school where she ate her lunch in a bathroom stall, afraid and alone. In a place where she was preparing to quit. She thought her life was over. That there was nothing more. That this was all there was. At 17.
Then someone believed in her. Demanded her courage. Demanded her will. Demanded her resilience. And she found it.
She got rid of the boyfriend. She became an intern. She went to a different school. She graduated. She blossomed into a staff member. She became a role model and mentor. She was beloved.
But, someone else came along. And although she had reached the summit, she stumbled, and started toppling down that Herculean mountain. He lured her. He was her past demons. He was heroin.
Lovely, beautiful, loving and now on heroin, too. She was this. She changed. She got lost. She shrunk. She succumbed. But she still clung to the path she had so recently forged. At a crossroads, knowing. Helpless. Needing help. Desperate. She reached out. She grew tiny strong.
She went to treatment where they strip away the tentacles and manacles of heroin and make you whole again. On the first day, she went to the doctors. She found out. She had another. It wasn’t just her anymore. 4 weeks along. Now it was time to run that marathon. No training. No preparation. Just do it. Run. Save her. Save him. And get rid of the other.
She completed the program. She did the work. She healed. She got her job back. She never complained. She grew. She shone. She radiated. She GREW.
Two days ago, her baby boy was born. Beguiled and besotted, we all fell in love. We knew his beauty was five years in the making. In the aftermath of growth, and in the faltering, and growth again, he is her harbinger of hope. He represents her story of strength and her determination to live.
She lives now. And he is her life now. Together they climb. Together they will summit. He has been chosen. What a life awaits.
I love you both.
